What do we think about when we remember the story of David, Bathsheba, and Uriah? Lust and murder perhaps. But who do we blame for all these? David? Forgetting carried away? Or Bathsheba, for seducing the king. Who to blame for the unfortunate incidence is a topic for another day, but for today, let’s talk about sexual abuse from the pulpit.
There is a dynamic to the story that anyone familiar with this issue will be able to relate with. Royalty, power, and anointing. David was anointed and powerful, hence, getting any woman to his bed cannot be hard. Even if Bathsheba never wanted to have an affair with David, How easy would it have been to say no?
To a layman, the anointed is the representative of God on earth and many erroneously believe an anointed is infallible. Some believe they always have it all together in one piece and they always know what they are doing. But different scandals involving religious leaders have taught us otherwise.
A man of God while teaching said he once said it openly that once any lady notice he is showing favoritism and paying more attention to her more than the others, she should run. Now, that is a sincere man who knows he is a man before he is a man of God.
While some young ladies walk into sexual abuse from the pulpit, some parents put their wards in the situation. Some believe their kids will prosper and be well behaved when they are the pastor’s favorites, hence their willingness to release their wards, especially the female ones to be close to the pastor as much as possible.
The sad part of the story is this. It is hard, I mean very hard for ladies having sex with their pastors to open up to anyone. If a grown up man could be brainwashed into dropping all his salary, leaving his family to suffer, do you think it will be impossible for an ‘anointed man’ to sexually exploit a woman?
In most cases, the woman fears the man more than she fears God Himself. She knows if she talks, people will believe his story than hers. She knows his ministry may end and she doesn’t want to be the reason for that. In some other cases, she is being threatened into silence, ‘touch not my anointed’, they’ll say. Do you know the leaders of the church may even attempt to cover it up and protect their pastor to avoid scandal? At the end of the day, it is the girl/lady that suffers.
You will agree with me that prevention is better than cure. Below are some points to note in order not to fall a victim.
1.. When you/ your Daughter Become a Favorite: Being close to the pastor doesn’t equal being close to God. There is nowhere in the scripture that shows you need to be the Apostle’s favorite to obtain favor from God. When you notice you have suddenly become the favorite, the one Pastor wants to talk to all the time, you need to watch it.
When we begin to develop affection for someone, we want to talk to them and be in their presence as many times as we want. When the handshake is reaching the elbow, more precautions must be taken.
2. When He Loves Hugging Hou Especially When You Two are Alone: He is a Pastor, a bishop or even an Apostle, but he only hug you when you two are alone. Maybe your church doesn’t frown on members of the opposite sex hugging but when bishop sees you with the others like this, he will look stern and serious and treat you like you don’t exist, but once you two are alone, that is when he will try to pass the anointing to you through hugging that could pass for a cuddle.
If care is not taken, the light hug will become closer and closer, then one day he will give you a peck on the cheek or your forehead and he will make you feel you are the luckiest woman around. Then one they, it will be a kiss on the lips and the rest will be a story. A ‘prophet’ once said even his saliva carries power. You know what that means? Any woman he kisses should consider herself lucky because she is being imparted.
You can’t imagine what some dirty ‘men of god’ does in their closet, and it is better you don’t put yourself in the situation that may mar you.
3. When Meetings Become a Secret: You are meeting him for more prayers and bible study but he doesn’t want his wife, your parent, your friends or other church members to know. He may give you an excuse that he doesn’t want others to feel he is being partial yet God sent him to you especially. The question you should ask is, if his intentions are pure, why the secrecy? The truth is, whatever he feels for you deep within his heart is illicit and a sin, his conscience is biting hard, but nonetheless, he is still using your problems or spiritual growth as an excuse.
The signs go on and on, but the most important thing is to watch even as you pray. Don’t allow anyone deprive you of your innocence and peace. When things are getting out of hands, you will know, you will feel it down within you. The problem is that most women get carried away by titles trusting mere men the way they should trust God alone. Some good numbers are afraid to speak off or leave because they are afraid the man of God will curse them with his anointing.
Here is the news that is not so new, God is on the side of the righteous so God is on your side. No curse can work against you because you have Jesus. ‘If God be for us, who can be against us?’.
Protect yourself and protect your female children against sexual abuse from the pulpit. God bless you.