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A Must Read: How To Live In Purity With The Opposite Sex

“Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father, and the younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers; The younger as sisters, with all purity” 1Timothy 5:1-3KJV
There was a boy whom during his third year at the secondary school his chaste decision went sore against him as he was openly disgraced amidst colleague and tagged an impotent. How? A challenge was openly posed to him by a lady to have sex if truly he his not impotent. What a corrupt society that must have possibly been you will say. This young man was rattled and startled, but he laughed it off with others and it was all forgotten, probably in the heart of the people present, but the boy continually recall the humiliation he felt.  He wasn’t born again but principled and morally sound from his nuclear family influence. He thus made a decision to be soft with the opposite sex to prevent future assumptions and embarrassment.

The story happens to be true for he is a boy well known to me. Thinking about this past event, and looking at various occurrences in our society today inspired me to write this piece.

You will agree our society is filled with a lot of unconscious relationships among brethren which a lot of time leads to immoral behaviour especially lust which eventually materializes into extra-marital sex. Married couples are not left out either as some do come across an old time friend who was very close before they got married and out of evil “favour”, things get going, materialize into lust etc. the list goes on and on. “We are human” some easily conclude having neglected the part of the scripture that says “and those that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its affections (passions) and lusts” Galatians 5:24KJV.

Am I too spiritual? You may ask, But no, that’s what our Lord Jesus Christ expects from his children. It may be a norm in the society but totally a taboo to the kingdom you now belong, for God has translated us into the kingdom of His dear son. Let the mentality change and until you totally forsake the wrong mentality of the corrupted world system you will never be accepted into the kingdom. Ephesians 5:5 “For this ye know, that no whoremonger, no unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God”.

The scripture says “That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour” 1Thessalonians 4:4. I see the scripture outrightly acknowledged that natural feelings between men and women are normal and should be expected, but we must also learn self-control and denial (possess thy vessel). Note, that’s not just on the surface, that’s grave enough to spur men out of unnecessary looseness or union, cohabitation, toleration etc, possess thy sex organs, feelings, emotions, urge and the likes and not them possessing you. We should, however, remember we are a breed that obeys the spirit and not the flesh.

I Once heard about a popular pastor which got me thinking. The story has it that the man of God while he was in school always give his gaze to the sky trying to avoid eye contact with the opposite gender. Does that solve the problem of lust anyway? That is not to say we should run away from one another as though one is a devil incarnate. “Everything God created is good and nothing to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving. For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayers” 1Timothy 4:4-5.

I laughed about laws made for members of executives of fellowships at various institutions and at NYSC too, most time about their conduct with the opposite gender, all are just so good and should not be refused because they help to possess our vessels, be we mustn’t be ruled by law, we should rule the law in the grace obtained through Christ Jesus. Does that confirm we should go on sinning while grace abound? God forbid! But rather appreciating the work of grace for it took us in while we were yet without strength. Grace is given to us by God with the aim of provoking the Jews unto salvation Romans 11:19-21,23).

Looking at our main text: 1 Timothy 5:1-3, I Could remember how much I laughed when I first studied it, the most interesting clause “….the younger sisters, WITH ALL PURITY”. It resounded to me over and over again. I believe the Holy Spirit himself understand everyone’s sexual needs and responses, if not why must he lay emphasis on  ‘with all purity’ to the sisters? Of a truth, men are weak through vision than women in sexual responses, thus, the sternness in warning. God, however, desires we live as a family as we are here on earth. Just as it is forbidden to have any sexual relation with the family by blood, even relatives, such is required that we see sisters and brothers amidst us as a family holding forth a pure heart and a good conscience towards each other. Yes, we would get married to one of those, but out of the love of God, not passion, lust or fleshly desires which leads to destruction. An atmosphere where the agape love of God exists.

Of a truth, cares and respect are mostly found amidst brethren either eye service or otherwise,  but it baffles me to see that most of our problem arise majorly from this point.  Oh, that brother or sister is so caring, respectful, humble etc. The last time I was sick, he/she kept calling (even if not more than twice innocently, you exaggerate as a thousand times ).The list is also endless. But may I ask you something; if he or she doesn’t have such qualities, what has he/she learnt from Christ. If he/she isn’t caring and humble then probably his a beast and that is unlike Christ.

Stop the costly assumption, please. Come out straight sir or ma if needs be and stop the ungodly thoughts raising against the knowledge of God, Propose! Ma, if he doesn’t propose, thousands of genuine sons of God have been prepared to be crowns for the many daughters of God. Let’s develop the habit of seeing each other as brethren and not as bed-mates. God Bless you!

Written By:  Bamise Egbewole

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I believe you have have been blessed, don’t leave without dropping a comment. Have a great week ahead!

Folukemi Adebola

I am a trained journalist, an aspiring speaker, a writer, a counselor, a teacher (of the scripture), a social media enthusiast, and of course, a Jesus lover. Do you wish to know me or have something to share with me? Then let’s chat on Whatsapp – +2348064395985

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